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"Remember this?"
- Sherry *touches my leg*
"No... Last time I listened to you it went horribly wrong."
- Me *laughing*

I am at Gwena's birthday party. Normally this would mean I just got outta the house. But... See, I told Sherry I wouldn't make this awkward but I've been sitting across from Clint for... uh, 20mins or so. Back in the day, it would have just been that... sitting. This is different. We have barely uttered a peep in each other's direction in YEARS outside of "Happy birthday" on one another's name day.
I kinda acknowledged his presence earlier but yeah... No. It's totally awkward. For me anyway. Probably cuz I make shit awkward that shouldn't be awkward cuz I'm freaking awkward. Sue me. Send me the bill.
Have you ever been OBVIOUSLY trying extra hard not to look at someone only to have your eyeballs drag across them ever so slowly every couple minutes? It's weird. I didn't even say "Hi". I had every intention to but... No... I made this weird. I have no understanding of interactions with people... Unless I'm comfortable... And right now, I'm not even gonna act like I'm comfortable. My brain is screaming to say something... Be social. But my body is like "Nope."
Lord, he walked past me and said "Hi." So ya see people, I'm the weirdo making unawkward stuff awkward as Hell. Let that be a lesson to you kids: It's only awkward if you sign up for it to be awkward... I'm lying. I was like: "Really?"
It's sad how people can go from knowing one another to... This. Like... Genuine shock at someone speaking to you. We really have fallen far. *sighs* Ah well. I suppose it says something that he spoke... Meanwhile I was cowering in the blazing sun... Trying to masquerade as a chair. Note to self: My chair game is whack.
Sherry was like "You should go hug him." I was like "Noooooooooo." Dude, we spoke. I consider that a win. Don't poke the bear.
The rest of the party was fun.
Sorry... It's the next day. Not my fault. Sherry brought me home and somehow we stayed up to almost 2am talking. David kept pointing out what time it was but we kept jabbering along like we couldn't hear. *laughs*
I learned something yesterday. As much as I've been questioning my value,
"I've decided to stick with love, hate is too great a burden to bear."
- MLK Jr.

I have a confession to make...
Okay, so I have recently noticed a lot of people randomly supporting the Black Panther movie. Now, being the Marvel buff I am, I always ask do you know who he is? Do you know about Wakanda and so on and so forth. What bothered me to no end was some of these people were flat out judging me, (some of them for years... Like dude... Really?) saying that my comic knowledge/you name it ( ______ <--- Insert me related hobby here) labeled me as "not black enough" but here you are repping Black Panther and you have no backstory outside it's a movie coming out in 2018. I totally get the appeal. The cast will be 90% black. You probably voted for Obama cuz he was black knowing you didnt know jack shit about dude. Like dude, do you know his real name or are you just hollering "Black Panther" this and "Black Panther that?" Do you even know that Storm (His freaking WIFE) probably won't even be in the movie cuz Marvel doesn't have the rights to the X-Men?!
As you can see, I was all up in my feelings. I like to say I only judge people who wear socks with sandals but... Tho' it's hard for me to admit: I realized I was doing to those people what they comfortably did to me: In being in my feelings because I am considered not black enough, I was saying "You're not nerdy enough for this movie! I am a black nerd! THIS IS OUR TIME!" I wasn't even trying to offer an education. I was thinking about me, myself and all up on I. I didn't even ask was the interest really random or was that part of my baggage. Truth is, I realized I was almost in the middle of a full on judge fest but I checked myself... whoo! That was close
PS: This entry was orinally a Facebook post but I figure it could have a home here too seeing as how I was almost all the way in my feelings about it. Truth is, I'm better than that. You can't act a fool if you never even offered to educate someone on a subject. I say it all the time: You should always approach a conversation with an educational heart and mind. Not spewing vile then getting mad when people don't embrace what you hafta say.

At 1st, I wasn't gonna type this but I figure I should because I've always been iffy when it comes to my family dynamic. For several reasons, I assure you. Some of them caused by me admittedly. Hold on, Imma gather more screen shots... This morning started out innocent enough. Long story short, Gabriel made a religious post. I commented because I've been making comments about religion and what it truly stems from for years. At 1st, I was talking away

Still fine. Religion A-okay... somehow it went south and I partially blame myself because...

And then...

Now, I was unaware that Danielle has been talking to a guy who has pretty much said the same things so when she informed me, I told her she set my ass up. Had I known, I woulda kept scrolling like I normally do. I don't like discussion religion. People get sensitive. Which is exactly what happened. See our post quote and my reply? I coulda got in my feelings but I didn't. After this she said she doesn't see color but we all know that's not true. She's the same person who said I wanna be white... Just last year. Like, wait... what? Not only that, the whole statement she made waz nothing but color then to follow it with I don't see color is actually contradictory.

This conversation went on long but I was unnerved when it turned petty. Like, why?

I didn't include some of the stuff because that post was hella long and most of what's here pertained to me. I was actually baffled at how personal it got. I mean, if you disagree, educate. Don't go on attack. Because she was saying we were asking questions like we didn't know but we were stating what we believe to be true. If you think someone is wrong, it's fine but you don't tear someone down for their beliefs. Shit like that is gross. She was willing to drag us on Facebook like we weren't her kids... Just some dudes on the street. This isn't the 1st time neither and I'm not okay with what I saw today.
I'm no longer okay with a lot of things. I have my voice. I will never lose it again

I'm not quite sure where to begin. See, there I was watching my daily news when BAM! 2017 has swallowed another person whole. Normally I might feel a slight twinge ala Michael Jackson or a slight jerk ala Robin Williams. This is on whole nother level.
I didn't say anything when I found out about Chris Cornell passing on May 18th. Honestly, I had forgotten who he was. Now, before you light your pitch forks, let me finish...
When I was a teen, I discovered rock. Seeing as how it was considered the devil's music by ignorant people who never gave it a chance, it appealed to me. I saw rock as an open expression of the world around you. At the time, I needed it. Expressing one's self in casa de homestead was pretty much a no no... Which I've mentioned once or twice. The 1st band I ever discovered was 3rd eye blind and they aren't even hard rock. They're that light poppy band that your parents won't judge you too much over. (Looking at you Rob Thomas) As I grew older, my taste in music changed because as we grow, our needs change. I discovered not all rock is created equal. I could prattle off all the bands I discovered but I will say that Clint made me a cassette tape with Neon Ballroom on it (I'm actually listening to Silverchair right now... Thank you, Clint) and yes, I did say tape so that tells you how long ago this was. We were still tater tots.
I remember listening to Woodstock '99 huddled in front of a tiny radio I was privy to. You actually had to tilt it a certain way for it to catch WKZQ but I was okay with that because from July 22nd to July 25th, I was glued to that radio. All of this nostalgia is pretty much to say: Rock became my sanctuary and even tho' my family didn't get it, I didn't care.
Today, Chester Bennington was found dead. He hung himself. Now, you may be asking yourself "Who is Chester Bennington?" Well, he was the lead singer of Linkin Park. Linkin Park meant a lot to me around the age of 16/17. Actually, when David and I started dating, Hybrid Theory was the very 1st gift I ever bought him. (That and a blue and white shirt) I used to joke around and say Linkin Park brought us together. (I don't say that now I assure you)
Actually, when Brittney died in 2011, Hotblack and Linkin Park became my everything. For the 1yr anniversary of her death, I posted the lyrics of "Leave Out All The Rest." I loved that song the second Teri sent it to me. It spoke to me because deep down, that's what you should do when someone you truly love passes away. Linkin Park and Oceanship gave me strength on days where I wasn't ​sure if I could get out of bed. I have so many Linkin Park songs on my MP3. Including the one from The 1st Transformers movie.
I dunno why Chester killed himself but I do know that the news pointing out that he killed himself on Chris Cornell's birthday made me look him up and I realized I do know him. Lead singer of Soundgarden but I knew him from his solo album. One of those songs was a song called "Can't Change Me." It used to be on my MP3 but for some reason, I let it go. I dunno know why and like with most music, there was probably no reason at all. I mean, that song helped me so much and I let it go. It feels like a mishandled break up that I forgot all about who he was. I should not have forgotten something/someone who meant so much to me.
Thank you Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington. I wish your music could have lightened the load a little. Depression needs to be addressed now more than ever. People feel so trapped by it that they kill themselves just to feel peace. I'm not okay that he killed himself. More than that, I'm ashamed that I understand. I know what it feels like to want out. To feel so tired. To wanna give up.
Those guys created music that gave me so much reason for being. I wish it could have given them the same strength it gave me.
Chris Cornell: July 20, 1964 - May 18, 2017
Chester Bennington: March 20, 1976 - July 20, 2017

The Truth About Depression...

"Life is a test. Everyday we are tested but, one day we will be free. From this life and its tests to go to a better place."
- Troy

What they don't tell you about depression...
1) The response when people say "Other people have it worse than you" is literally "Fuck those people. I need a moment. I shouldn't hafta feel bad that a moment in my life is about me. I have enough crap going on in my head than to pile on other people's background noise too. Shit."
2) It's not just a bad day so saying "Shake it off" helps no one. Depression isn't a bad day. You can't just take it off like a dirty shirt
3) Sometimes you just feel alone. Yup, it's true. You could be sitting in a room with some of your closest friends and still feel as if it's you against the world
4) Sometimes you just wanna be alone. Not every person struggling with depression wants to drag everyone down the misery pit with them. Actually, in some, it causes feelings of guilt because you wanna be the cheerful person you normally are but that person is hard to reach at times
5) Home becomes your sanctuary. Like really, why leave?
6) Home becomes your prison. Like really, why don't you leave?
7) Not everyone will understand no matter how much you explain. Truth is, that isn't all their fault. At times, it is hard to understand things you haven't gone through... But, yes there's a but, sometimes you will meet people who try to understand and those people will be the light in your dark days
8) The words "I'm here if you need me" will take on a whole new meaning. It could become your bread and butter. Not everyone wants to be around others when they're at their worst, but knowing if you reach out, someone will answer, could mean more than you know
9) Meds aren't for everyone. Don't judge people who take them. Don't judge people who don't. Not everyone needs the same things.
10) And the academy award goes to... <-- will pretty much become your tagline. (You can say "For best supporting actress in a reality TV show... It's all scripted anyway so it still fits) Most (Not all) people struggling with depression don't want others to know so they slather a happy expression across their face to avoid the dreaded two word sentence "What's wrong?"
*sighs* I really am struggling right now. I appreciate Troy for talking to me for like, 2hrs straight. I think he thought I was thinking about killing myself. I haven't been that bad off in years but I do appreciate the immediate alarm.

Not Cool...

*sighs* Fridays are so dry without Rupaul's Drag Race. Saturday mornings are just as bad because I was using Untucked as my Saturday Morning cartoons. Remember those? It was a simpler time...
But I digress. That's not why I'm here. I'm here because of something David told me. I would have written this entry as soon as it popped outta his mouth but it really took me two days to understand why it made me so angry. Okay, so... Tomorrow we're having a drink day. I came up with the idea to invite Kyle because David is always talking about wanting to hang out with him and yet, he never does. Hence the invite. I made jolly rancher jello shots and David decided we should get Kyle a cake (Happy birthday Kyle... Sorry, didn't mention it on the 26th like I usually do) or some shit. Oddly enough, that still isn't why I'm here.
David's mom told him that we oughta invite some pretty girls over here to get Kyle's mind off Krampus. Pretty much break them up. Wait... what? Hold on, Imma tell you my problem...
1.) For some reason, every time Kyle goes off his rocker, their mom thinks it's about the girl he's with. No, Kyle is a grown ass man who needs to get his shit together. No amount of women will fix a broken man. That's actually a time tested fact. He has things he needs to work through... It took me a long time to see Kyle for who he is. I suppose since he's her son, it's gonna take her way longer.
2.) Even if it was Krampus' fault that Kyle has turned into... whatever he has going on... I would be pissed as shit if I knew someone was having a party and invited women over just for David... And we argue all the time. That's the most disrespectful shit I've ever heard. Now, truth be told, before I got my mind right, shit like this was right up my alley. I woulda done it without the suggestion... Just for the asshole power play points. Now that I'm changing tho', I no longer think shit like that is cute. It took me awhile to start thinking about the people who were left in the wake of my fuckery. For a long time, I really didn't think about it. I wouldn't want to know I was trusting David only to find out someone was setting him up with some women. That alone is enough for me to want their mom to shush up all that noise. Even if it is Krampus. Like, Kyle chose her and it doesn't matter if we like her. It's the same thing I used to say about Jessica: No matter how we feel about her and what she did, Kyle still chose her... And she's a person too. I dunno why but that really grossed me out. I felt dirty just hearing it. Why? Probably because I used to be okay with shit like that. So no... I'm not judging... I'm just not willing to get my hands dirty.
Pfft. Truth be told, even if I was still cool with shit like that, I would not do it for David's mom. That kinda stuff is beneath me now and I'm 34. She's damn near 100 and still okay with shit like that. Ugh! Gross!
Plus that, due to MANY, MANY, MANY reasons, she and I don't roll like that. You only hafta snake me once.
PS: The dude who played Lafayette on True Blood died from heart failure today. I've see him in several things but he'll always be Lafayette to me. I need to get back into shape. I don't want anyone writing an entry like this about me. Your heart can only take so much and women die from heart disease more than men. *sighs*

It's Always Something, Isn't It?

"You know you're the one who usually fixes everything."
- David
"What happens when the fixer is broken?"
- Me

Yesterday we had the huge family meeting. Not gonna say it changed anything. Truth is, with parenting, only time will tell about anything you teach a kid so Imma be optimistic and say we'll see.
Apparently Erica is mad at me. Why? Hold on, allow me to explain. Sunday she asked Zyi what he and his girlfriend talk about. Without even thinking about it, he replied: "None of your business." I did what I was supposed to do. I disciplined him the second it happened. The day before yesterday, she brought it up again. I'm like: ??? The boy has already been disciplined. She was like: "I would have probably popped him in the mouth if he was my kid." And I told her I don't believe in hitting kids in the face. I see it as abuse. I don't see how this steamrolled into a whole thing when really, no matter what anyone says, I will always see hitting kids in the face as abuse. Like I told her: "Hitting someone in the face is abuse. I didn't like getting hit in the face so I don't hit my kids in the face. That's just me." To me, that should have been it. It doesn't matter how you feel about it because 1.) You don't have kids. 2.) Even if you did, unless I'm beating mine to death or neglecting them, no one has a right to weigh in on someone's parenting. I don't because I understand most people parent the way they do for a reason and not only that, I don't like unsolicited advice after all that mess happened a couple years back. Imma handle mine how I want so that if I fuck up, it's on me. It won't be because I listened to someone else. I tried that and I ended up with the backlash. I don't see why people don't understand Imma do parenting my way from here on out. I hafta live with how my kids turn out. Be it good or bad, it's on me and I understand that.
I'm not mad at her for not understanding because she wasn't abused. She doesn't understand and probably never will. I'm pretty much okay with that. It took me awhile to admit the psychological strain my upbringing caused me. I openly admit all of it does dictate some of my decisions yet, I'm also willing to admit that isn't the only reason.
I 100% believe unless a child is in immediate mental/physical/sexual danger, no one has the right to judge how someone else parents. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Even the most on top of it parent can crank out a bad egg. Hopefully I'm only putting good out into the world but truth is, I won't know until they grow up and begin lives of their own.
Sometimes I'm not okay with that truth but I'm learning to come to grips with it. Plus that, not to be a jerk but I don't ask for advice often because I prefer to do things my way. If I ask, I want opinions. If I don't ask, there's a reason. It's very rare for me to ask for parenting advice and that's just the truth.
PS: Now that I've had a few days and Erica and I discussed it at length, I now see and understand why she was so hurt and offended. She always has my back when I don't have enough money for things. She's always picking up slack when I fall short... Same as Elizabeth so yeah, the kids should be respectful no matter what she asks. There was a way to answer in a way that was not rude the way he replied. I was so up in my feelings, I did the one thing I'm alwayd telling people they should do: I didn't take the time to look at it from her perspective. That part was on me.


"You're just a drop of embarrassment, in an ocean of shame."
- Darwin (The Amazing World of Gumball)

Generally I tend to write things when I dream them. It's a habit. Oddly enough, I woke up to David writing his life story. Now, I've been collaborating with Sherry's mom on her life story but for some strange reason, my brain has been poking and pushing at me, wondering why I'm not writing my own. People keep asking me why I don't write my own. Like, I've been asked that question so many times. Honestly, sometimes I sift through this place, I read the entries and I'm in awe of the phases I've lived. I mean, if I did write it, I would want it to be raw. Ya know, real. *cough cough* I mean EVERYTHING. Even the stuff I look back on and wonder if maybe, just maybe I imagined it all. I would like to think of myself as a survivor but if I really am honest, I'm more like a conquering dictator who lost their way. *laughs* I kid... I kid.
I made a Facebook post a couple months ago that I believe sums me up completely.

*points* Yeah, that's me in a nutshell. I'm not a victim and at times, I'm the villain. If I were to take on this project, I would want people to know that I did what I did. I started this before and just couldn't bring myself to finish it. If I'm being honest, it's probably because I was still feeling all secretive. I am honest here because this is home. I don't hafta be careful here. I can say what I'm thinking even if it's the most horrible thing because I trust this place. This is my home. I can be witty, sarcastic, angry, disgusted, and more than that... Open and honest about my struggles with depression. Yeah, I might get to work on both my life story and Sherry's mom's this week. It's time. Who better to write my story than the creative genius behind the mask? I'm thinking about calling it: "And The Academy Award Goes To... My Life Behind The Mask" Catchy huh? Because truth be told, I wore a mask for a very long time and Max is taking a creative sabbatical. SA needs to come out of this funk he's been in. So yeah, it is time.
I'll start with my story and build an empire.

Here's Mud In Your Eye...

"For all the stuff that you tell us, I'm sure you'll be teaching us stuff long after you're dead."
- Zyi

I'm so lost right now. No, I'm not kidding. I am struggling. I've pretty much uprooted my life and am living in my skin... But I'm someone else.
I am so angry at David and this time, I dunno. Why forgive? Why should I? See, I left my phone at home yesterday because his phone is off only to discover that while I was at work, he reactivated my messenger and was going through my messages. Now, seeing as how I'm highly aware I haven't been talking to anyone, at first I was shocked. Then the longer I thought about it, the madder I got. And then the cherry on top: He used my phone to call one of his pill connects from my phone and dude texted my phone last night. So not only did you break your promise to me only to find out I've been honest the whole time, you broke your word to me about not needed anymore pills. That it was all behind you. You've changed. I am an admitted cheater. It took me a long time to call a spade a spade. No matter why I did what I did, I cheated. I've since got my shit together after I realized that no matter what the reason, I did what I did. Doesn't make it right. Did I apologize? No. I showed I meant what I said by making changes. Does it change what I did? No.
Like, you're holding something over my head that I've moved past (Which I know now should have never happened, mind you) only for me to find out you're the one doing the sneaky sneaky and now I've got egg on my face. I really did change. Not the fake change people do only for you to spend all your spare time covering your tracks. Real change. Do you realize how many guys I block outta my inbox cuz of their fuck boy dick pics? Not gonna lie, I used to enjoy the thirst until my mind changed on how I view myself. I had to admit alot of things about myself. Most of which are listed in great detail all over this place and yet somehow, I remained blind to what I was doing. I always told myself David didn't deserve the best parts of me because he wasn't even trying to give me his best. Caught in lies over and over and OVER. And yet, I stayed. Not his fault. Mine. I could have just said fuck it and left.
The other night I finally admitted I've been struggling with value my whole life. I mean, rereading my entries here and there put alot of things into perspective: I don't even recognize my own value. Which is why when David left me all those years ago, I keep swiping the dogshit outta my "Free to be a whore card". I always thought I was immune to those kind of issues until I started to change. Truth is, I've always been searching for value and at the end of the day, I still feel like I have none. Of course, the value you find fucking like a Thotty Thotty Dirty Body is fleeting and it's not what I was looking for... But I was young and I'm damn lucky I didn't catch every STD available to the planet out there messing around. Or worse. For all the shit I've pulled, I'm lucky to be alive. But still, no guilt. Only lessons. No matter what or why, I did what I did. No one forced my hand.
I think it's ironic that David was going through my shit but he's the one who ended up getting caught through my phone. It makes me feel stupid and angry because no matter what has happened, it always feels like I have more trust and faith in David than he does in me. Like, you're still sneaking but trying to make me feel bad about things I'm not doing. I said it once and I'll say it again: David wants a good woman but doesn't wanna put in good woman work. And no, that is not to say I've always been at my best. I know I haven't. What I mean when I say that is you have really high expectations for me and like, none for yourself. Why do you deserve as much turns, forgiveness and understanding and all I get is the feeling that no matter what I do, I'm alone cuz you'll just lie?
I've been struggling so much as of late and this is my reward. It's like, no matter how much I've been trying, Imma still struggle. Imma still end up feeling alone. And yes, I know I'm not alone. I think I'm just having one of those moments where you start to realize that no matter how you spin it, I did this to myself.
I don't get the honor of acting all hurt and angry cuz no matter how much I get kicked in the teeth, I'm still here.

Season 9: Grand Finale...

"You are an extension of the power that created the entire universe."
- Rupaul

Well, today is the day... I've been anticipating this moment since last week when I almost did the wrong review. Supposedly, according to SPOILERS all over YouTube, Facebook, Reddit, and all that is in between, Sasha in gonna win. Hopefully this is crap because I wanted Sasha and Shea or Shea by her onesies. Sasha just isn't that strong alone. I'm sorry, it's just the truth. Eh, we have an hour.
While we wait, I think I wanna do Allstars 3 picks... Who do I really wanna see on Allstars 3? Good question.
In no particular order of course...
1. Chi Chi Devagne (Season 8)
2. Nina Bonina Brown (Of course... Season 9)
3. Akasha (She was mean as fuck but I enjoyed her on Season 1)
4. Ongina (Also my Season 1 dream)
5. Jade Jolie (Even tho' I'm probably alone in this and I don't care... Season 5)
6. Is Shangela allowed to come back again?
7. Laganja Estranja (Season 6)
8. Morgan McMicheals
9. Sonique (Just cuz I wanna see Chi Chi and her do a gymnastic inspired lipsync)
... Time for the show ...
Kimora, Charlie, Farrah (can't believe I'm saying this), Valentina, Nina (oooooooh! Pics deserved) Shea's hair (not her dress)... The HBIC herself, Rupaul... Man, they all looked beautiful coming out. Before we get into this season finale review, I have a question: Where is season 9's music video? So, apparently they're gonna do a lip sync death match type thing. Two queens against one another and whoever survives will go up against the other queen. Last chick standing wins. As I already spilled, word on the street is that Sasha wins the whole thing. Eh, at least I'm not reliving Season 2... Ya know, the one where Tyra won. *shudders* I can't with that. Shoved beside that travesty, Sasha winning doesn't feel like the worst that could happen. Shit, Alexis Michelle could be winning this... Yeah, let that shit marinate. Not so bad when I put it that way, huh? Oh! Oh! They got Laverne Cox to do Peppermint a message. *envy* Oh! And Wintergreen made an appearance. Sarge the camera man still looks great in drag.
Sasha (The winner... Might as well get used to saying it) is next. Who... no... what in the Katy Perry? Damn, I'm behind. No shade, what's up with Katy Perry's hair? Is she having "a moment"? Anyway, she's the one who sent Sasha a message. Cute... Be right back...
Oh Shea, girl, I'm so sorry. I meant, *coughs* Shea daddy and sister died o cancer within a month of one another. Give her the damn crown, Ru! Imma jog on over her video message. (Don't talk about Blac Chyna... Nina shoulda been Blac Chyna. That was her message... Y'all messy)
SHADE! Rupaul made a Donald Trump approval rating joke. *giggle giggle* Damn, Trinity's boyfriend is sexy as hell. Who did her video? I dunno him. I'm guessing he's from the Saturday Night Live. Imma look up that video while it's on a commercial. Dude, it does exist. When this goes off, since they got rid of my precious Fire Island, (💜 Patrick 💜) Imma watch it.
Up 1st, we've got Trinity vs. Peppermint cuz Trinity chose Peppermint. Meaning Sasha vs. Shea. Lord, it already looks lme Reddit was right. They're doing Stonger by Britney Spears. Okay, here goes... Trinity won that but according to Reddit Peppermint did. And... uh, Reddit was correct. So that means Sasha is gonna somehow beat Shea. Now, I love me some Shea but Sasha raining rose petals everywhere was EVERYTHING. Aja's reaction was so me. So yeah, Sasha won this thing. Reddit was right. Again. Fucking Reddit.
Come through, Bob the Drag Queen, making a reference to Valentina not wanting to take off that damn mask, looking like an African Priestess. (Not gonna lie, that shit was funny. Ru was like: "Bob, hand over the crown." She was like: "I would rather keep it on.") Shade! Her and Nina with these Afran looks, man... So beautiful.
Now, on to Sasha... the winner vs. Peppermint... the non winner even tho' she is a lipsync assassin. To me it looked even but again, damn Reddit. Also, again, Bob looks so beautiful in blue. So regal. Oh! Sasha won. I'm so shocked... Said no one. They've gotta do better with SPOILERS next year.
I wish it hadn't been leaked. For once, I wasn't even looking for SPOILERS. (I know, so unlike me)
*sighs* Ah well. I did happen to find a pic of Nina in that stunning gown.

If I ever locate the full length version, I'll post it. Swear.
So ends Season 9... Final thoughts? Honestly, I feel like people are always complaining that 1st episode if you're paying attention, you can tell off top who's gonna win. I usually watch with blinders on but this season, I always expected Shea to win. Call it an editory trick of the eye but no matter how much I wanted Nina to win, it kinda always felt like Shea's season. Just going on that logic alone, it's good that she didn't win cuz no ome coulda seen that shit coming. No. Just no. A thousand times no.
*shrugs* Oh well, see ya Allstars 3!



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